Waiting

I will be the first to admit that I have been in a great place here lately, or maybe I should say a content place with the Lord, with my life, with everything. I have always been the girl who was so worried about finding a man that it pretty much consumed my life. I had finally gotten to the point where I was okay with not having a man in my life right now, because I know that I'm obviously not ready, and neither is he. I know that God is preparing both of our hearts and that I need to learn to wait. Which like, I said the past month or so I have been in a very content place with waiting. Tonight, I felt like I took 2 steps back. All of my roommates have boys that they are "talking" to or dating. Don't get me wrong I am so happy for all of them especially Taylor because I have been able to watch her excitement grow about this guy. She has been such a blessing in my life this semester and I only want the best for her. I definitely this guy is it. It's just hard. Hard for me because I don't have that person that I can skype with every night, although Tyler said that I could come hang out with him and Taylor (thanks for that Tyler)! It's just that feeling that they are excited about new things going on in their lives and I don't have that. I know that their new relationships should not even affect me, but they do. Because I want that, I need that, but I just have to keep believing and trusting that my time will come. God is preparing me for that season in my life and it is just not time yet. So as I wait, I will be happy for my roommates and share in their excitement!

Has Texting Killed Romance

This is a great article that I found by Ashton Kutcher and I wanted to share it.

I was shooting a scene in my new film, No Strings Attached, in which I say to Natalie Portman, "If you miss me ... you can't text, you can't e-mail, you can't post it on my [Facebook] wall. If you really miss me, you come and see me." I began to think of all of the billions of intimate exchanges sent daily via fingers and screens, bouncing between satellites and servers. With all this texting, e-mailing, and social networking, I started wondering, are we all becoming so in touch with one another that we are in danger of losing touch?

It used to be that boy met girl and they exchanged phone numbers. Anticipation built. They imagined the entire relationship before a call ever happened. The phone rang. Hearts pounded. "Hello?" Followed by a conversation that lasted two hours but felt like two minutes and would be examined with friends for two weeks. If all went well, a date was arranged. That was then.

Now we exchange numbers but text instead of calling because it mitigates the risks of early failure and eliminates those deafening moments of silence. Now anticipation builds. Bdoop. "It was NICE meeting u." Both sides overanalyze every word. We talk to a friend, an impromptu Cyrano: "He wrote nice in all caps. What does that mean? What do I write back?" Then we write a response and delete it 10 times before sending a message that will appear 2 care, but not 2 much. If all goes well, a date will be arranged.

Whether you like it or not, the digital age has produced a new format for modern romance, and natural selection may be favoring the quick-thumbed quip peddler over the confident, ice-breaking alpha male. Or maybe we are hiding behind the cloak of digital text and spell-check to present superior versions of ourselves while using these less intimate forms of communication to accelerate the courting process. So what's it really good for?

There is some argument about who actually invented text messaging, but I think it's safe to say it was a man. Multiple studies have shown that the average man uses about half as many words per day as women, thus text messaging. It eliminates hellos and goodbyes and cuts right to the chase. Now, if that's not male behavior, I don't know what is. It's also great for passing notes. There is something fun about sharing secrets with your date while in the company of others. Think of texting as a modern whisper in your lover's ear.

Sending sweet nothings on Twitter or Facebook is also fun. In some ways, it's no different than sending flowers to the office: You are declaring your love for everyone to see. Who doesn't like to be publicly adored? Just remember that what you post is out there and there's some stuff you can't unsee.

But the reality is that we communicate with every part of our being, and there are times when we must use it all. When someone needs us, he or she needs all of us. There's no text that can replace a loving touch when someone we love is hurting.

We haven't lost romance in the digital age, but we may be neglecting it. In doing so, antiquated art forms are taking on new importance. The power of a handwritten letter is greater than ever. It's personal and deliberate and means more than an e-mail or text ever will. It has a unique scent. It requires deciphering. But, most important, it's flawed. There are errors in handwriting, punctuation, grammar, and spelling that show our vulnerability. And vulnerability is the essence of romance. It's the art of being uncalculated, the willingness to look foolish, the courage to say, "This is me, and I'm interested in you enough to show you my flaws with the hope that you may embrace me for all that I am but, more important, all that I am not."

I loved this because I think it is so true!!

I Miss You

Today marks 2 years that my grandpa passed away. He was the first family member that I was really close to that passed away. I am very aware that he was 86 years old and lived a life full of joy, love, and laughter, but that does not make the pain any easier. I think the hardest part was waiting. Waiting on my precious grandma to make a decision about what to do with her soul mate. I can't even imagine how she felt. I will admit that I at the time we were all kind of pushing her to make a decision about whether to take him off life support of not, but as I look back on it I cannot even imagine what I would do if I was in that situation. I mean this man, this wonderful man that my grandma devoted 64 years of her life to and she was asked to take him off life support just like that...woah! That is a lot to take on. It seems like just yesterday my family filled the hospital waiting room-honestly it was kinda like we had moved in. My grandmother made the decision and as the doctors took him off the life support we all gathered around his bed side, singing, and saying our goodbyes. The day that I got to the hospital I had decided that I was not going back there to see him. I didn't want to see him like this. I wanted to remember him happy, sitting in his chair, and loving on all of us. I finally made the decision to go back there, and let me assure you it was not easy to see him like that. But in, the end if I would not have gotten to tell him goodbye, I would have regretted it for the rest of my life. I owe a lot of my best childhood memories to this man. I spent many weeks with my grandparents during the summer and my papa babied me more than I ever thought possible. Giving me a dollar, taking me to the store, peeling my oranges for me, swinging on the front porch. Gosh, I miss those times. I miss him a lot, more so when I go visit because I am constantly reminded. Every day gets easier and I know that he lived an amazing life with great people who loved him and still do. I miss you papa and I always will!

I'm Over It

What an amazing day it has been! I am so excited for all the new things that God is going to do in my life this year. I attended CSC this morning-which most of you know has been a huge blessing in my life over the past year. Well of course, and I don't know why I'm surprised but God knew exactly what I needed to hear on this beautiful Sunday morning. Let me just tell ya Pastor Reggie brought it today. Our message today was about so many things that just blew my mind! First of all, learning that adversity is not our enemy, its just proof that we have one-the devil. The devil tries to get us when we are suffering because that is when we are most vulnerable. We has Christians have to have the ability to stand up and say "You better fight me before I get there." Once I have reached my destination it is game on.

Joseph is one of those people in the Bible who had a sense of what true character is. He went through adversity and suffered mostly because of his brothers, but when he became the leader and his brothers came, he did not even let the explain why they did what they did. He just said I'M OVER IT!!! This was the second part of our message. Meaning that we have got to let go of the grudges, the hurt, and the pain to be able to move forward. I am the kind of person that does forgive quickly, but NOW I am trying to turn over a new leaf. The old is gone, the new has come and I'm over it. I'm over the past, I'm over the people who have hurt me in the past because with Jesus on my side there is nothing and I mean nothing that I can't accomplish. I'm putting all my trust in Him and hoping that He puts his trust in me! Favor is falling like rain!!

Breaking Dawn

Today has been one of those days where I just want to lay in my bed and read a good book that is going to take me into another world. Things have not been the best this week and I am just ready to sail away. Recently I started re-reading Breaking Dawn. It is my favorite of all the Twilight books and I wanted to read it again before the movie came out. So last night, I sat down in my bed and began reading again and of course I was hooked just like that. I remember reading of all these books for the first time and I think gosh I want an Edward. Not the vampire part, but the way he loves Bella part. A love like that is not easy to find. It just makes my heart melt to read and imagine their love story developing. Yes, I know this is all fiction, but sometimes it seems so real to me. Stephanie Meyer has got the be the smartest person in the world because I would have never thought I would be so into a book. So to forget about my troubles of the day and the week I am going to sink myself into this book and maybe even wish that I was a vampire. I love some Edward Cullen. For now, I will leave you this a sneak peek of what I hope to be the best movie in the world.