I Miss You

Today marks 2 years that my grandpa passed away. He was the first family member that I was really close to that passed away. I am very aware that he was 86 years old and lived a life full of joy, love, and laughter, but that does not make the pain any easier. I think the hardest part was waiting. Waiting on my precious grandma to make a decision about what to do with her soul mate. I can't even imagine how she felt. I will admit that I at the time we were all kind of pushing her to make a decision about whether to take him off life support of not, but as I look back on it I cannot even imagine what I would do if I was in that situation. I mean this man, this wonderful man that my grandma devoted 64 years of her life to and she was asked to take him off life support just like that...woah! That is a lot to take on. It seems like just yesterday my family filled the hospital waiting room-honestly it was kinda like we had moved in. My grandmother made the decision and as the doctors took him off the life support we all gathered around his bed side, singing, and saying our goodbyes. The day that I got to the hospital I had decided that I was not going back there to see him. I didn't want to see him like this. I wanted to remember him happy, sitting in his chair, and loving on all of us. I finally made the decision to go back there, and let me assure you it was not easy to see him like that. But in, the end if I would not have gotten to tell him goodbye, I would have regretted it for the rest of my life. I owe a lot of my best childhood memories to this man. I spent many weeks with my grandparents during the summer and my papa babied me more than I ever thought possible. Giving me a dollar, taking me to the store, peeling my oranges for me, swinging on the front porch. Gosh, I miss those times. I miss him a lot, more so when I go visit because I am constantly reminded. Every day gets easier and I know that he lived an amazing life with great people who loved him and still do. I miss you papa and I always will!