Letting Go

As I mentioned in my last blog I am really struggling with this phase of life that I am currently in. I am trying to find my place in this world. I'm not sure why I act like God isn't going to give me what I need or that he isn't going to see something through, because he always does. This morning Maria gave her testimony to our Sunday School class. Something I needed to hear. She talked about how we (as women) always have a plan. We plan out our entire lives. For example. I wanted to be married by now, and at least having a child or two. But guess what I'm not. Maria had the same sort of plan as in the fact that she wanted to get married and have kids right after college. She was with this guy for 6 years and thought he was on the one. But long behold God had another plan. And it was Jason. The man of her dreams. Never in a million years would she have thought she would have waited that long to get married. Long story, short her testimony inspired me because I am all the time planning my entire life. I need to learn to LET GO. I need to trust that God has his OWN plan, that in the long run will be way better than mine. His plan will meet all of my needs in HIS TIMING which is the hardest part.

I'm Back

I'm BACK!! I know it has been awhile..months actually. Having a big girl job keeps me pretty busy and I do not have a lot of time for blogging. There are a lot of things going on here lately that I want to update you on...

First things first, please be in prayer for some very close friends of mine and their church. And also my old youth pastor Eric. His life is being dramatically changed, and I'm hoping that he will use these changes for God's glory. It's funny because I feel like sometimes we don't see the bigger picture and then something happens and it's like wow...I get it. Eric is someone who "raised" me in youth, and I'm not sure I would be where I am in my life now without him. Please be in prayer for him, and his family.

Wedding season is in full swing again. The next few months are going to be filled with showers, bachelorette parties, and weddings. My friend Jessie (who I mentioned in the last blog) is getting married on December 15th. I was asked to be one of her honorary bridesmaids and I was delighted. Jessie is a great friend and I cannot wait to share this special day with her and Hayden. My friend Donia FINALLY got engaged to her boyfriend Robert. Let me tell you this is one engagement I (and Donia) have been waiting on for a super long time. Robert originally told me he was going to do it last December, and yet here we are in November and it just happened. It was well worth the wait, and I am thrilled for them!!

I am still struggling a little bit with this phase of life I am in. 25 is such a hard age! Let's not talk about the fact that I am going to be 26 next month...blah! It's so weird because most of my friends that are my age are either engaged, married, or having babies. I am not doing any of those things. Yes-I have a good job that I love, but I am single and starting to feel like I don't really fit in anywhere. You always hear people say that when you go to college it's the biggest change of your life. I beg to differ, I think when you graduate from college and get a real job is the biggest change of your life. The real world is tough and I am leaning that the hard way.

Life is hard, Life is all about change, Things happen when you least expect them. I am praying and believing God for bigger and better things!

Happy Friday

Growing Up

I am now entering this phase of my life that some would call ADULTHOOD. Although technically by law you are an adult when you turn 18, I don't think you have really achieved adulthood until you have graduated college, started a big girl job, got married, have kids, etc. I believe that all of the things contribute to adulthood...Why you ask? Because all of these things consist of doing at least some part of these things on your own. Let me be the first to tell you that growing up is hard to do.

It's weird because this weekend is when the majority of college students go back to school. This is the first time in 2 years that I am not moving back to Boone. There are some days where I wish I could move back to Boone, but then there are other days where I am so thankful that I don't have to deal with the stress of registering for classes, or moving into a new place. Now I am having to deal with the stress of making sure my classroom is ready for 18 preschoolers. Which is also a lot of stress, but I am also very excited about beginning my big girl job. It's hard to believe that I am the LEAD TEACHER. I am in complete control of 18 children, and their lives are in my hands for most of the day. I am trying to prepare my heart and my head for this. I am a lucky girl because my internship was better than I could have ever imagined, and I learned from one of the best teachers around, I am still a little nervous about having my own classroom and my own set of children. Please pray for me in the coming weeks that God will give me a peace about getting everything done, and a heart that is so ready to love on these children as they enter my classroom.

Back to the growing up thing. As most of you know I have attended a few a ton of weddings in my day. Just recently two of my very close friends got engaged. My friend Nicole to her lifetime boyfriend Alex. My lifelong friend and old roommate Jessie to her boyfriend Hayden. I could not be more excited for these two couples!! Another part of growing up is getting married, but I am patiently waiting on God's time for that. On another note, my friend Emaly (who is the same age of me) just had her first child on August 7th. This is another event that blows my mind. She has a baby, she is my age, and one of  "us." But let me tell you how much I love that little baby already. His name his Micah Parker Williams and he is absolutely adorable!

So between big girl jobs, engagements, and having kids I would say that most of my friends and I are now in the full stages of adulthood. Stay tuned it should be a good ride...

XOXO

Changes

I know that I have been MIA lately. I have sat down a dozen times to write this blog, but then realized that I didn't have enough time or something else came up. Here it goes...to say life has been busy is an understatement. I have gone through a lot of changes in the past few weeks and I am excited and sad about some of them.

I spent the last day of school with my kids at my internship. We had a little graduation thing for them and it was precious. I was so sad! I can't believe the school year was over and that I finally had to say goodbye to these kids for the last time. One of my sweet little girls in my class made me this teacher bag with her hand prints on it that stood as the flowers. She wrote my name on it and her name, and the year. It was the cutest thing and I cannot wait to use it. Saying goodbye to my kids was hard, but I know they are going to go on to be the best kids they can be. I am thankful that I got to be a part of that.

In other news, my plans for the summer I have changed. I thought that I was going to be keeping the Carpenter girls all summer, but I am not. They had some family members step up and volunteer to keep them for the summer for free. Completely understandable, but I was very sad. I spent two days with them last week and those were my last two days with them. One day Caroline cried and on the last day Julia would not let me go. I was so heartbroken for them. I know that they were looking forward to spending the summer with me, and now that as all changed. I will miss them dearly. So what am I doing this summer? Working at BBQ King of course. I am so thankful for that job, and thankful that Keith is going to let me work this summer. I also plan to go to the Outer Banks with my WHOLE family, and hopefully make a visit to Boone very soon. I miss that place like crazy. Also, a HUGE event that is happening tomorrow is that my best friend ANNA SIPE is coming home from Argentina for good. It has been two years, which some days is hard to believe, but I am so excited to have her back in my life on a day-to-day basis. Although I will say since she has been gone I feel that our friendship has only strengthened but because we have managed to stay in contact and put forth the effort to remain close. I can't imagine what my reaction is going to be tomorrow when I see her, and know that she is home for good. I AM SO EXCITED just thinking about it!

More exciting news....
After my internship I was in full-job hunt mode. I was freaking out thinking that I wasn't going to find anything, and I knew that my parents would not be happy. Being in a school setting for my internship I decided that I was ready to try something else and that I really wanted to be in a center if possible. Well as luck would have it I called this place in Denver (that I had heard really good things about) called Ms. Em's Child Development Center. The Director told me that they had a lead teacher position open for NC Pre-K starting in August. I thought...how perfect! Because my internship was with NC Pre-K so I already knew the curriculum and was comfortable in that setting. I filled out the application, went an for an interview, and GOT THE JOB!!! Ahhhh...I am so excited. God is so good!! Not only do I get to work in a center, but I am getting paid through the state and benefits through the state.They also operate on the public school calender.  So it's almost like I am working in the public school but I am not. The best of both worlds? Possibly. It is hard for me to fathom the fact that I am going to be in charge of my own kids come August. I have an assistant-that's crazy to me. Do I feel prepared? Well yes-mainly because I had the best cooperating Pre-K teacher in the world. Thank you Rosemary! So I will start in August, but this summer will also consist of a lot of planning. I am going to have my own classroom! Hello BIG GIRL STATUS! I can't wait to start this journey of being in the real world! Life after college isn't that bad!

That's all for now!

Internship

Warning: If you don't like kids or are sick of hearing about my internship, you should probably stop reading now. 


I am blessed girl, there is no question about that. Back in January when I first started my internship I had no idea that I would love it so much, or become so attached to my kids. I feel that I truly got to learn from one of the best Pre-K teachers around. She taught me so much, while also letting me do all the things that I wanted to do during my time spent there. I would love to get to work with her again one day!

My kids are amazing. I knew that Friday would be a hard day, but I think I held up really well. I only cried TWICE!! One of my sweet boys brought me this wreath made out of crayons right after I had read this really sweet card from one of my parents and the tears just started flowing. That was the cutest gift I have ever received. I tried to clear up my tears real quickly. At breakfast it happened again. One of our parents ate breakfast with her daughter and she said to me, "She (her daughter) was not happy because I was leaving." I noticed that this little girl wasn't acting like herself that morning, and I wasn't sure what was wrong. Well I found out real quick that she was sad. Sad that I was leaving. So those are the two times that I got emotional, until I got in my car to leave of course. During group time my teacher asked each child, "What do you love about Miss Graham?" Some of the responses were because she's sweet, or because she is beautiful, she has pretty hair, she reads to us." I almost lost it then-but I held it together thankfully. Before lunch the children gave me some gifts and then we had a group hug. This was such a great moment for me. I LOVE THOSE KIDS! We decided that we were going to skip nap time this day to celebrate. Trust me, we hate nap time just as much as the kids do, so this was a treat for all of us. We went outside to the picnic tables and had cupcakes, and cheese puffs...what fun! As each child left I gave them a thing of bubbles, and hugged them so tight because I never wanted to let go. It was a hard day, but it was also a great day. One that I will never forget. I am going to go back and visit them for special events such as water day, and their graduation. Seriously, these children have changed my life, and I will always be grateful for that.

So now that I have finished my internship, I am OFFICIALLY done with college! Ahh...it feels so good. The job hunt is in full swing. Please join me in prayer that I will find a full time job for August. I will be doing the nanny thing for the summer.

-the newest app state alumni

Easter

This weekend has been nothing short of glorious. It all started with Secret Church on Friday night. This is something that I have never been to before, but it was awesome. We gathered at Mt. Anderson around 7 to watch a podcast (kind of) by David Platt, it did not end until about 2am, but I could not make it that long. I am hoping to go back and finish out my study guide because what I did hear was some pretty powerful stuff. This study was called the cross and suffering. As a Christian I still always get discouraged when "bad things happen to good people." After Friday night I no longer have that mentality. I wanted to share with you all a few of the things that I learned during Secret Church.

1)The cross is the key to understanding all suffering. For Christ suffered on the cross for our sins, although most of us think that means there will be no suffering in our lives, that is wrong. Suffering will come, all Christians will undergo suffering, but God is still in control.

2) Everything in all history, including suffering was planned for Good Friday. I have never really thought about this until now. Everything points to Good Friday. Everything before the cross points forward to it, and everything since then points back to it. The cross means everything to us a Christians because for us Jesus paid our debt so that we may have life more abundantly.

3) I would encourage all of you to read Genesis 1-11, this chapters assure us that there is hope. These chapters have changed my life over the course of the past 2 days...it is some good stuff!

4) Things to remember...We have a King who is guiding us. God is constantly working in our lives. He orchestrates every detail using a variety of circumstances.

5) His perfections never change.

6) We need to embrace the curse and run to the cross.

7) God will show himself faithful to us. I know we hear this a lot, but I have taken the past few days to really mediate on this. For me, this is saying why worry because you know that God is faithful? God has a plan in his time, in his way, and regardless of what that is it will be good, because He is good and he is faithful always.

8) God uses suffering to teach us to rely on Him. When bad things happen we always have questions and these are the times where some of us rely on God the most and then others turn away from God during this trials. God wants us to trust him completely, and for some of us this may mean going through some tough times to teach us to fully rely on him.

God is teaching me some great stuff right now, I am learning, and growing. I feel like I am in a new place-a great place. And all I want to do is shout from the rooftops about how great God is..which leads me to the next point. Easter Sunday-what an amazing service we had a Mt. Anderson. Growing up in a Baptist church I have never really been the first to raise my hand or to clap. When I went off to college and started attending Cornerstone Summit this was a norm for them. It soon became a norm for me because the Holy Spirit began to speak to me, and I wanted to raise my hands, dance, etc. Anyway, long story short I felt the Holy Spirit begin a work in my life this morning like never before. Just thinking about what Jesus did for me, and how he arose from the grave on this glorious morning is enough to make anyone shout with joy. We were singing a song this morning, "The Power of the Cross." One other person was standing up and I stood up too and lifted my hands to the one who paid my debt. Now, normally this would never happen. I would just sit there and close my eyes and sing. This morning I gave up on caring what others thought, and just thought about my Savior (that's all that matters). It was the best feeling. During the next song almost the whole room was standing, and tears were flowing from my eyes. It was a POWERFUL time, and my heart was so full I was overwhelmed. I know that this is one Easter that I will never forget. "I will rise when he calls my name, no more sorrow, no more pain. I will rise on eagle's wings, before my God fall on my knees."

Happy Easter!!

Wedding Season

Well wedding season is in full swing! I figured I should update you on how the first two went. The first wedding of the season was Drew and Kayse's. Let's just say that it was so so sweet. You could just how excited they both were, Kayse could hardly contain her excitement, and I think that is exactly how a wedding should be! I also know that when you attend weddings you can often tell if Christ is their center of their relationship. I have known Drew for a long time and know this Christ is the center of his life. But even if you didn't know this about them, you saw it during the ceremony. Their love for one another has steamed from the one who loved us so much that he died for us. And for me, that makes a wedding so much sweeter! Some of my friends that I went to church with in Boone were at the wedding and it was so good to see them! I miss them, and often miss Cornerstone Summit! Drew and Kayse were off to Jamaica and I am so excited for them to start their lives to together!

Next wedding, Cole and Lindsey. Their wedding was yesterday and it was GORGEOUS!! Lindsey's dress could have not been more perfect for her...she was stunning! Cole was handsome as always. I thought this wedding would be a real tear jerker for me because Cole and I were really close for a long time, but I didn't shed a tear! I think I was just overcome with too much happiness in my heart for them. Their wedding was precious and the reception was beautiful. THIS WEDDING WAS PERFECT FOR THE TWO OF THEM!! I haven't seen Cole or Lindsey in a long time before the wedding, but it's nice to know that some things never change. Cole Sain has always always called me "Winter Paige Graham." every time he sees me. And yesterday was no different. I walked up to him, and the first thing he said was. "Hey, Winter Paige Graham." I know that most of you probably think that is stupid for me to make a big deal about that, but it was nice that although I haven't seen him awhile, our friendship is still there, and the special things we say to one another will ALWAYS be there. I am thankful that although we grow up, people get married, have babies, etc some things will never change! Like I mentioned before Lindsey looked stunning and oh so happy! Two BBQ King friends falling in love and now getting married makes my heart smile! I would have never thought that a few years ago when we all went to Charleston together that I would be attending their wedding, but I did and they are MARRIED!!  Shout out to Matt for going with me...thank you.

CONGRATULATIONS...
MR. and MRS. DREW GOODSON & MR. and MRS. COLE SAIN!!
I love you all and so glad that I got to be a part of your special day because you each hold a special part in my heart. I pray that the Lord blesses your marriage in ways you never thought possible! XOXO

Update on Alli

God is so good! Alli went to see the ENT doctor this week to find about more about those spots on her thyroid (I thought they were on her stomach, but I was wrong). Anyway, the Dr. said that they did not seem to be of any problem and that she would NOT need to have surgery to have them removed...YAY! This is the best news, God really does answer prayers. Thanks to all of you who joined me in prayer for this sweet little girl. Speaking of her, I was going through some old pictures today and I found one of my favorite pictures of her when she was probably close to the age of 1. I wanted to share it with you guys...

Could she be any cuter?!

In other news, I did some spring cleaning today and put away all my winter clothes and got out all my spring/summer clothes. I love spring/summer because that means that I can wear dresses...I love dresses. Anyway, hope you all are enjoying this lovely weather! Have a good week!

Progress

So most of you know that I have been reading Made to Crave. And yes I am still reading it, but only because I am doing it with a great group of girls and we only do two chapters a week. This book is changing my life! Before I began to read this book I never really thought about losing weight as a spiritual thing, but my perspective has definitely changed. In the beginning of this book it talks about craving God more and other things less. Let's be honest I crave food A LOT, more than I crave God a lot times. I have come to the realization that I don't want to live my life this way. I want to be a strong, healthy, woman of God. When people ask me what diet I am doing, I always say I'm not calling it a diet I am calling it a lifestyle change. The reason being that this is something that I want to continue to do for the rest of my life. I don't want a short-term fix, I want a long-term fix. And one that will also bring me closer to my Lord Jesus Christ. So far I have lost 8lbs, but when we first started this I was not really exercising. I just thought Oh I will start it later, whatever. Well when I read the chapter on exercise in this book, I knew that I needed to get my butt in gear. So that is exactly what has happened. I am on day 4 of walking around my neighborhood twice every night. On Monday I started where I would run from the first house on my road until my house. Which isn't very far, but at least it's something. I can't tell you how much better this makes me feel about myself. I know that I can do this with the help of the Lord. And I AM DOING IT!! In this book Lysa talks about how she hated exercising, but every time she felt the need to stop she would pray. God spoke to her many times and said "Don't do it in your own strength, do it in MINE." I say those words in my head daily, because trust me this is a very new thing for me so it is hard. But I am making progress and I am so proud of myself. Well it's time for my daily walk...have a good one!

Busy Bee

I have been a busy bee to say the least, which is the reason that I have been MIA! There has been so much going on that I don't even know where to start, but I do want to share some of the things that are going on in my life! 


I am still LOVING my internship! I have grown to love my kids more and more. I didn't even know that it was possible to love them this much. I am already dreading the day that I have to leave in May. This past week we did Dr. Seuss! I like love Dr. Seuss and this was the first week that I started doing most of the leading/teaching. On Tuesday we made Thing 1 and Thing 2 by painting our hands (Thank you Pinterest)! They loved it, and I loved it too. On Friday, we made green eggs and ham, they didn't love the green eggs. Then I also bought candi quick, melted it and then had them make an egg shape on wax paper and put a green M&M in the middle. They thought this was so cool, and could not wait until after lunch to eat one of them. We had so much fun this week and I am looking forward to the upcoming weeks.


Weddings, Weddings, Weddings-It's that time of the year again, the time for wedding season to begin! Over the past two years I feel that I have attended more weddings than I could imagine, but here I am again with at least 5 weddings that I will be attending before the year is out. My friend Drew will be the first. He is getting married at the end of this month! Drew and I were in a bible study together and became very good friends. We have prayed about this day for a long time and I am so excited to celebrate with him and his wife on their special day. Next on the list is Cole and Lindsey. They both used to work at BBQ king. Cole and I were very close at one point, I can say for sure at one time that he was one of my best guy friends. It is so funny to me that they are getting married because I remember many years ago when Cole, Lindsey, Paolo, and I went to Charleston. On this trip Cole told me that he had some interest in Lindsey and I was like aww that's cute, little did I know that I would be attending their wedding in April! Life is crazy sometimes, but I am excited for both of them. June brings another wedding, my friend Andrew and then in August my friend Alysha who also worked with me at BBQ king. I am so glad that both of these people have found their soul mates! They deserve it. And let's round out the year with my friend Aleia getting married in December! I seriously cannot wait for this wedding, it is going to be a blast. A girl told me at work today that I was the "wedding witness queen." I am starting to believe that is true, but I love every second of it!


I also recently became a NANNY!! I pick these girls up everyday after my internship, take them home, do homework with them, etc until their parents get home. I LOVE IT! God truly blessed me with this job because I had been doing a lot of praying about finding something else to do with children and it was like BOOM this just fell into my lap. I have known this family for a long time, and I am so glad to spend more time with them. Also, I am going to do it this summer as well...YAY! I can't wait and an extra bonus is that they have a pool...I will be tan this summer.


In other news, God is teaching me so much during this season of my life. Post-college is a hard age because most of us aren't sure where we are going, or what exactly we want to be doing. I have had to adjust to moving back home and living with my parents. It hasn't been awful, but there are some days where I am ready to get out, but other days where I am content. God is showing me to be patient. He is showing me to trust in His timing. Good things are coming I just have to believe. When I walked across that stage in December I had no idea that I would be doing the things that I am doing right now, but I thankful. And the blessings keep coming.  God has placed me with a group of girls and we have been studying the book Made to Crave. This book is changing my life day by day. Believe me I could not do it without the help of the girls involved, but I am learning to eat healthier and live a healthier lifestyle and so far I have lost 8lbs!!! 


Praying and Believing!

Prayer Request

This is one of those blogs that I am not posting on Facebook or Twitter because it is very personal. I am asking those of you who read this blog to join me-join me in prayer for my niece Alli. She is ten  years old and one of the best things that has ever happened to me. Long story short she was having some stomach pain back in November and they had to take her to urgent care. At that time the Dr. thought that it was just an infection and gave her some medicine. Later on, there were 2 spots that showed up on CT scan, so last week she had to go have an MRI done. Of course that is so scary for a ten year old, or even an adult for that matter. I talked to my stepsister tonight and she said that Alli has an appointment in Chapel Hill on Thursday and they will know more then. Please please please join me in lifting her up in prayer. I don't think she really knows what is going on, but I am sure that she must be scared. I am scared for her. I am worried. I can't even imagine something happening to this little girl. I am trying my best not to worry because I am a firm believer in God takes care of his own, and that he is going to take care of my sweet Alli. Thank you in advance!!! 
Praying & Believing!

Life Lately

Life has been crazy busy which is the reason why I have not blogged in a while! Sorry guys-there is a lot to catch you up on. First things first, I turned 25 on December 29 and this was the one birthday that I was not really excited about. My dear friend Anna threw me this great surprise birthday party for me. I knew that we were doing something, but I had no idea what. She had a lot of help from my sister and Emaly! I was really surprised and I was so glad that everyone I love was there including my BBQ fam who mean the world to me. Donia made my cake which was so pretty and so delicious! I am so thankful to have such great friends and family who made this day so special for me!


New Years was good, didn't do much just hung out with some friends. I didn't really make any resolutions this year, because honestly for me I think they are overrated because I don't ever keep them. So I just thought why make them? That is probably not the best attitude to have, but oh well. I did start doing this new thing in my journal that I got from Pinterest. It's called Peaks, Pits, Praises, and Prayers. I am trying to write down these things weekly in my journal. It has been such a blessing already. I have always been one to write down my prayers and journal often. I can express myself better through writing. 


On to the best thing that has happened to me in the past few weeks. I started my internship at Childers' Elementary a few weeks ago. Let me tell you, I LOVE IT!! I had no idea I would fall in love with my kids so fast. They are all so precious. The first weekend I had off, on Sunday I told my mom I already missed them. Can you believe that? I know it may not be that way all the time, but right now I am enjoying every moment spent with them. This week I have been a little under the weather. I went to school on Tuesday, but my cooperating teacher suggested that I go home because I looked like I didn't feel well. I felt horrible-but didn't want to leave my kids. Some would call me crazy, but I just call it love for the children. I am looking forward to the next coming weeks. I have already become so attached and I think they have become attached as well. 


Last thing-the playoffs for the NFL have begun. First of all football is my favorite sport as many of  you know, but I hate the fact that the season is so short. I felt like it just started yesterday, but it didn't. Anyway, the Saints defeated the Lions last weekend to move to the next round. Matt came over to watch the game and we ordered wings and had some great football food. It was a great time and that W helped! So tomorrow we play San Fran which is a really good team. I am hoping we pull through because I don't want to see the Saints stop playing until we have a another ring! Sorry for this tidbit for those of you who don't like sports!


All in all I am blessed girl! Hope you all are well!!